Primary hootch Giwerish, Giwer Matt

In article <[email protected]>,
[email protected] (Richard J. Green) requested the
services of a Giwerundean literary scholar to assist in the
translation of the following comment from Matt Giwer:

“Are you saying that I should have insulting the Jewish
reputation for integrity by saying only Jew and thus
implying that we is observant?”

This is, I believe, the first sample extant from a PHP (Primary Hootch
Period). While Post-Hootch samples abound (indeed, we have
examined many of them here, to the point where they have
passed into the mundane and become normalized within the
Giwerundean Experience), they are defined as such by their
ability to be deciphered by scholastic teams from a variety of
disciplines.

The PHP’s, however, are always characterized by a near-total
incomprehension reaction from even the most noted of Giwerundean
scholars, and this sample is no exception.

Given the near-impossible task of translating PHG (Primary
Hootch Giwerundean), we begin with trepidation.

First, of course, it appears to be a query of some sort.

“Are you saying that I should have insulting the Jewish
reputation for integrity by saying only Jew and thus
implying that we is observant?”

The speaker acknowledges the Jewish reputation for integrity,
but wonders if it is fair to focus solely upon it, and not
include his sister’s cat, which he remembers, and can
apparently see this time.

The phrase “thus implying that we is observant” is actually
>from Early Post-Hootch Moranic, and stems from the acknowledged
Moranic propensity for talking to himselves in public.

The Moranics and their Giwerundean cousins fought a long series of
wars during the Pre-Griswold era, all of which both sides lost. Since
they were unable to defeat themselves in battle, some
inbreeding followed, in an apparent attempt to dumb-down the
opposing sides.

(Scholars are divided with regard to the extent of cross-cultural
inbreeding, although the evidence has been mounting that the
activity is probably terminal; many extant Moranics and
Giwerundeans are already observed to be dying, from the top
down.)

Because of this eclectic blend of Moranic and FH Giwerundean,
it is likely to be centuries before scholars find the lamented
missing key needed for accurate translation. I would suggest
that Mr. Green contact Laura Finsten, noted Pre-Moranic
scholar. Her recent translations of Stony Griswoldean into
English uniquely qualify her to tackle this thankless task.

With regret,
KNM


The Nizkor Project (Canada) – An Electronic Holocaust Educational Resource
From [email protected] Wed May 29 12:56:51 PDT 1996
Article: 40043 of alt.revisionism
Path: nizkor.almanac.bc.ca!nizkor.almanac.bc.ca!not-for-mail
From: [email protected] (Ken McVay OBC)
Newsgroups: alt.revisionism
Subject: Re: Mr. McVay’s translation service needed!
Date: 29 May 1996 10:36:35 -0700
Organization: The Nizkor Project
Lines: 66
Message-ID: <[email protected]>
References: <[email protected]> <[email protected]> <[email protected]>
NNTP-Posting-Host: localhost.almanac.bc.ca

From [email protected] Wed May 29 12:56:51 PDT 1996
Article: 40043 of alt.revisionism
Path:nizkor.almanac.bc.ca!not-for-mail
From: [email protected] (Ken McVay OBC)
Newsgroups: alt.revisionism
Subject: Re: Mr. McVay’s translation service needed!
Date: 29 May 1996 10:36:35 -0700
Organization: The Nizkor Project
Lines: 66
Message-ID: <[email protected]>
References: <[email protected]>
<[email protected]>
<[email protected]>
NNTP-Posting-Host: localhost.almanac.bc.ca