Milicious object up my, Giwer Matt

Matt Giwer writes:
[email protected]

> It is this sort of thing that belongs reposted ot anthropology
>conferences to show the total of what holohuggers have to offer.

Whew!! This sample was *really* tough to translate. I mean, Giwer
doesn’t make sense, but he’s *really* surpassed his previous record at writing
gibberish. Anyway, here is a rough draft:

} It is this sort of thing

The phrase “this sort of thing” is usually associated with objects
described as `milicious’ – i.e. mildewey and delicious. In fact, some linguists
speculate that `mildewey’ the true meaning of `milicious’, the `delicious’
part being redundant, though still noted in proto-Giwerundean. Thus, the
sentence fragment reads:

: It is

} that belongs reposted

In giwerundean scholarship there is some debate as to whether
`reposted’ means “shoved up my arse” or “hopping on one leg”. The use here is
clear from context:

: It is that belongs shoved up my arse

}ot anthropology conferences

“ot” – on display at.

: It is that belongs shoved up my arse on display at
:anthropology conferences

}to show the total of

“to show the total of” – to show that Matt Giwer is a sad troll who
cannot help being refuted by what

: It is that belongs shoved up my arse on display at
:anthropology conferences to show that Matt Giwer is a sad troll who
:cannot help being refuted by what

}what holohuggers

“Holohuggers” – a derogatory name for reasonable people.

: It is that belongs shoved up my arse on display at
:anthropology conferences to show that Matt Giwer is a sad troll who
:cannot help being refuted by what reasonable people

}have to offer.

This is more subtle than it may appear – in the context it implies
evidence.

Thus the full translation reads:

: It is that belongs shoved up my arse on display at
:anthropology conferences to show that Matt Giwer is a sad troll who
:cannot help being refuted by what reasonable people have to offer, that is,
:evidence.

The exact nature of the `milicious object’ is uncertain – it may be
a gym sock (thanks to Joel Rosenberg for pointing out this possibility) or
it may even be Giwer’s head.

Why a sock, Giwer’s head or any other object shoved up Giwer’s arse
at an anthropology conference should show he is a sad troll who cannot help
being refuted is left to the reader’s imagination. Then again, this *is* a
first draft.

Derek


Derek Bell [email protected] WWW: http://www.maths.tcd.ie
“Donuts – is there _anything_ they can’t do?” – Homer Simpson

From [email protected] Fri Sep 20 16:11:04 PDT 1996
Article: 67139 of alt.revisionism
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From: [email protected] (Derek Bell)
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Subject: More Giwerundean scribblings
Date: 20 Sep 1996 19:56:20 +0100
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