This is from the book review section of TIME magazine March 24,
1941. There was a photo of the author at his typewriter, the
caption: ” His first idea was more horrible”.
This deserves a:
COFFEE WARNING ***** COFFEE WARNING
A MODEST PROPOSAL
GERMANY MUST PERRISH! by Theodore N. Kaufman — Argyle Press ($1)
In 1729 the great Dean Swift made his famed “Modest Proposal”
for curing the economic ills of Ireland: sell its starving children as
dressed meat. Last week U.S. book reviewers were in receipt of
a modern modest proposal. No less grisly than the Dean’s, it was
not even supposed to be ironic.
The grisliness preceded the proposal. One day reviewers unwrapped
a small oblong parcel, found inside a minitature black cardboard
coffin with a hinged lid. In it was a card reading, “Read GERMANY
MUST PERRISH! Tomorrow you will receive your copy.” There was no
identification of the sender.
GERMANY MUST PERRISH! proved to be a brief (104) page
enshrinement of a single sensational idea. Since Germans are the
perennial disturbers of the world’s peace, says the book, they must be
dealt with like any homicidal criminals. But it is unnecessary to put
the whole German nation to the sword. It is more humane to sterilize
them. “The army groups, as organized units, would be the easiest and
quickest to deal with. Taking 20,000 surgeons as an arbitrary number
and on the assumption that each will perform a minimum of 25
operations daily, it would take no more than one month, at the
maximum, to complete their sterilization … The balance of the male
population of Germany could be treated within three months. Inasmuch
as sterilization of women needs somewhat more time, it may be
computed that the entire female population of Germany could be
sterilized within a period of three years or less.” The normal yearly
death rate is two percent. Thus, “in the span of two generations”
there would be no Germans left.
Startled readers wondered whether the strange book was a landmark, the
first appearance of the Streicher mind in the U.S. Few recognized the
name of the author, Theodore N. Kaufman. But in 1939 it had appeared
as chairman of the American Federation of Peace, which urged Congress
either 1) to keep the U.S. out of Europe’s wars, or 2) to sterilize
all Americans so that their children might not become homicidal
monsters. In step with the times, Sterilizer Kaufman had simply
transferred his basic idea to the enemy.
No Nazi, Theodore Newman Kaufman, 31, is a Manhattan born Jew who has
been an advertising man , once published the New Jersey Legal Record,
now runs a successful theatre ticket agency in Newark, N.J. Widely
traveled, he is especially fond of the Sahara Desert, where, he says,
“you look at the horizon all day long and feel that you are staring at
eternity.” In Biskra he frequented the Algerian salon of Winston
Churchill’s cousin, Sculptress Clare Sheridan (Arab Interlude),
GERMANY MUST PERRISH! is his first book. “Strictly a one man job”
(he claims he has no organization, no help, no backers), it was worked
on for four months. Then he founded Argyle Press to publish it.
The coffins were not Kaufman’s first idea. He had another, but it
was so horrible he prefers not to talk about it. Western Union
refused to deliver the coffins and books; they said they were afraid
the Nazis might stop their German cable service. So Author Kaufman
used the mails, first running down to Washington to make sure the Post
Office had no objections. “I am a great believer in our Government,”
he says, “and I certainly did not want to do anything against the
law.” Kaufman did all the mailing himself, lugged bundles, licked
labels, cut his hands with twine.
How much all this cost him is Kaufman’s secret. He did not offer the
book to a regular publisher because he did not want to be edited, and
“I would not write a book like that for any amount of money.”
Financially he thinks he may break even. He feels that “in a lesser
degree, of course,” he is signing away his life in the way that the
men who signed the Declaration of Independence signed away theirs.
But Sterilizer Kaufman is not afraid. He has thought deeply about
sterilizing the Germans, believes that it is practical and easy to
organize. “It would be just like registering for social security,”
says he.
________________________________________________________
From [email protected] Fri Aug 23 21:25:57 PDT 1996
Article: 59258 of alt.revisionism
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From: [email protected] (Chris Carpenter)
Newsgroups: alt.revisionism
Subject: arithmetic problem for Dr. Keren
Date: Fri, 23 Aug 1996 23:55:57 GMT
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This is a question for anyone who is into math, decision theory, etc.
I understand that dkeren holds a PhD in some math related field so it
will probably be ez for him.
To the first person who posts the solution, I will send you a
handsome coffee mug and the money for a dozen donuts.
Farmer Brown died, leaving the farm to his three sons. His will
stipulated that the 120 acres were to be divided evenly between the
sons. The dad was a good farmer but not to good with math.
To his eldest son he left 1/2 of the cows, to the middle son he left
1/3 of the cows and to the youngest he left 1/9 of the cows. The
will was to be read the following Saturday at the farm. The attorney
was aware of the contents of the will and realized there would be
a problem since there was 17 cows. They were dairy cows and
therefore could not be fractionalized.
Everyone showed up on Sat morning for the reading. The will was read,
the cows were divided as specified and everyone went home happy.
How did the attorney pull it off?
Its no fair going to the math groups, cause I’ll be watchin’.
Enjoy.
From [email protected] Sun Aug 25 18:23:49 PDT 1996
Article: 59890 of alt.revisionism
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From: [email protected] (Chris Carpenter)
Newsgroups: alt.revisionism
Subject: Re: arithmetic problem for Dr. Keren
Date: Sun, 25 Aug 1996 02:48:02 GMT
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dkere[email protected] (Daniel Keren) wrote:
>Well, here’s a really nice riddle, for those who are
>bored, or who don’t find this newgroup enough of an
>intellectual challenge…
>A cat and a mouse are inside a disk-shaped area (that
>is, they cannot get out of a circle). Their speed is
>exactly the same. Assume their reaction time is zero
>and their size is also zero (that is, they are two
>points).
>Can the cat devise a strategy that will always result
>with it catching the mouse, no matter what the mouse
>does?
>-Danny Keren.
Cat starts at the outside of the disk and spirals inward with
increasing velocity. The cat and mouse will meet at the center.
From [email protected] Mon Aug 26 15:00:27 PDT 1996
Article: 60137 of alt.revisionism
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From: [email protected] (Chris Carpenter)
Newsgroups: alt.revisionism
Subject: Re: they are on the run
Date: Mon, 26 Aug 1996 17:04:14 GMT
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[email protected] (Matt Giwer) wrote:
> Strange to me but it appears the holohuggers are on the run.
I don’t see them running, they seem to be posting more and more.
> We finally can kick them out of our newsgroup if we work at it.
Don’t kick them out, consider a moderated group. They could still
post but with all the profanity and personal insults edited out.
they would have to present the facts in a business like manner.
> We really do not want them here but we can tolertate their intruision
>into this newsgroup.
They have much valuable information to impart.
> Holohuggers are not wanted but thay are tolarereted.
They fight hard for their viewpoints, thats okay by me.
> And holohuggers are free to be here and they will never be mail bombed
>or subjected to any other juvenile prank that the holohuggers are
>prone to such as AG and Marduk and McFly.
You are right. Some Jews do harm to their cause.
> Holohuggers are the onle people who have harrassesd anyone and they
>are the only amimals in need of taming.
Hummm.
> Not one revsisionist has ever attacked a holohugger and that is fact.
That is the way it should be.
> The only people wanting to stop people from posting are halohuggers.
I don’t see that yet. As a matter of fact, a ‘holohugger” e-mailed me
information that damned one of their own.
> The only people who receive threats are revsionists.
If that is true…….
> The only violent people are the holohuggers.
violence begets violence
I have been Marduked and Gryned, but thats okay cause I’ve learned
that three out of every hundred people are assholes. Born that way,
lived that way, and die that way.
From [email protected] Wed Aug 28 17:55:27 PDT 1996
Article: 60666 of alt.revisionism
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From: [email protected] (Chris Carpenter)
Subject: Re: arithmetic problem for Dr. Keren
Message-ID: <[email protected]>
Date: Wed, 28 Aug 1996 04:01:18 GMT
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Keith Morrison wrote:
>Gord McFee wrote:
>> Chris, with all due respect, that is the oldest one in the book.
Thanks, always wondered what the oldest one in the book was, now
I know.
>> I’m not going to give the solution, but I’ll give a hint as to how to solve
>> it. You learned the arithmetic required in about grade 7, and it involves
>> converting fractions with different denominators to a common denominator.
LCD’s do not enter into this one. The cows can’t be fractionalized.
The cows must remain alive to give milk.
Chris
From [email protected] Wed Aug 28 22:56:10 PDT 1996
Article: 60697 of alt.revisionism
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From: [email protected] (Chris Carpenter)
Subject: Re: arithmetic problem for Dr. Keren
Message-ID: <[email protected]>
Date: Wed, 28 Aug 1996 03:58:25 GMT
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[email protected] (Chris Carpenter) wrote:
>[email protected] (Daniel Keren) wrote:
>>Well, here’s a really nice riddle, for those who are
>>bored, or who don’t find this newgroup enough of an
>>intellectual challenge…
>>A cat and a mouse are inside a disk-shaped area (that
>>is, they cannot get out of a circle). Their speed is
>>exactly the same. Assume their reaction time is zero
>>and their size is also zero (that is, they are two
>>points).
>>Can the cat devise a strategy that will always result
>>with it catching the mouse, no matter what the mouse
>>does?
>>-Danny Keren.
>Cat starts at the outside of the disk and spirals inward with
>increasing velocity. The cat and mouse will meet at the center.
DR. KEREN SAVES THE WORLD WITH RIDDLE
If the cat started on the outside of the circle and if the cat was
really fast(>speed of light) there would be a major event at the
center. A black hole would be created. This would suck us in, along
with the rest of the solar system and bunches of galaxies.
Down with fast cats.
Chris
From [email protected] Fri Aug 23 11:37:55 PDT 1996
Article: 59132 of alt.revisionism
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From: [email protected] (Chris Carpenter)
Newsgroups: alt.revisionism
Subject: DID HITLER HAVE A JEWISH BROTHER?
Date: Fri, 23 Aug 1996 14:46:05 GMT
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