The Nizkor Project: Remembering the Holocaust (Shoah)

Shofar FTP Archive File: people/z/zundel.ernst/chrc/exhibit-r-10

Archive/File: people/z/zundel.ernst/chrc/exhibit-r-10
Last-Modified: 1997/12/25

Exhibit R-10

                                                    [Page 1]

[Irene Zundel letterhead]

                                                     June 16


i told  ernst I am sending this fax & he will see it, so
don't bother sending it back and bitching.

did you notice in your picture in the toronto newspaper your
left eye is about one inch higher than the right & both eyes
slant at an odd angle?

ernst & I, gerry & elizabeth all noticed it & gaped in
horror at how _positively freakish_ you look! no wonder you
fall on escalator steps & have trouble seeing. foolishly you
blame your contacts. I think you should blame dr. facelift
or your adoring dentist who smashed bones in your face to
reconstruct it & bolt in your false teeth. I truly believe
there is a medical malpractice case there, ingrid. compare
the picture in the paper, which is a full face shot with

                                                    [Page 2]
your promotional picture, picture on your book's dust
jacket, or on the video ernst shot of you. you have 2
_level_ eyes in all of those pictures. it is obvious to
honest observers here that someone has done something
_horribly wrong_ to you.

i understand why you went the face lift, face
reconstruction, tooth caps & whitening, hair dyeing, beauty
walking, yoga, meditating route. after all, at 62, after a 2
yr relationship with ernst, & his rejection of you for me -
age 39, slim, blonde, pretty, vivacious & unwrinkled it must
have unleashed some horrific insecurity in you. and he
dumped you & married me _so fast_ your old bones weren't
even cold in the

                                                    [Page 3]
grave of your dead relationship, so to speak! you left here
the end of jan 1996, I came the 3rd week of feb & never
left. he married me 3 weeks after that in march of 96. he
certainly didn't grieve the end of whatever you deluded
yourself into thinking the two of you had. subsonsciously,
_you envied my youth_ & thought stupidly a young ingrid
could get ernst back. of course, you haven't succeeded at
that despite your machinations, manipulations, emotive
bullshit scenes, private correspondence or anything else.
personally - you should have saved yourself the financial
drain of thousands of dollars, the physical pain, the mental
delusion, the ridiculous behavior that evokes pity in

                                                    [Page 4]
all of us who understand it, & now, the worse of all - an
oddly grotesque appearance that may be permanent at worst,
or painful & costly to fix at best. why, of why, ingrid,
didn't you adhere to your own psycho-babble & special ed
brainwashing? where was your self-love? your self-
acceptance? your self-esteem? couldn't you like & feel good
about ingrid _just the way she was_? you claim to worship at
the altar of mind. you pride yourself in your
accomplishments. you boast of your doctorate, your writting,
your awards (ad nauseum...) rather than dwelling

                                                    [Page 5]
on that, why did you freak out & start reconstructing,
altering, & hacking away at _the physical_?

has it left any beauty in your soul? are you at peace? free
from rage, jealousy, resentment, bitterness, regrets? have
you moved on with your life & found your own happiness?

_no you haven't_.

instead you tried to bed my husband, wreck my marriage,
poison co-worker's minds through vicious, jealousy induced
gossip, lied about me, maligned my character, denigrated my
work, placed horrendous stress on my beleagured husband,
caused a multitude of problems and spread your black soul's

                                                    [Page 6]
over the FAX line numerous times - to the horror AND DANGER
of _MY HUSBAND_... whom you once claimed to love & wanted to
marry yourself.

and what has it gotten you, ingrid? did you succeed in
ruining my marriage? _NO_  did you get ernst back? _NO_ are
you sexually satisfied? _I doubt it_. are you in love? does
someone love you back? have you found someone to share your
life with? I _doubt it_. are you happy & at peace?
_obviously not_.

why do you endlessly stoop to poisonous faxes, tantrums,
emotive, manipulating, threats & childish behavior _WHEN IT

                                                    [Page 7]
what emotional perks are you getting from doggedly sticking
to your behavior of the last 16 months? why do you need to
persist in it so badly? and mostly --- why do you allow me,
my life, and my business such a stranglehold on your psyche,
soul, emotions, and happiness?

wouldn't you be better off by having a "who the hell cares
about her, i have a life of my own" attitude? wouldn't
living well be the best revenge against a man who so quickly
& coldly dumped you & replaced you with someone young enough
to be your daughter?

why do you give away your power & your dignity when you wail
how everything is "torture" and you beg "stop it"?

                                                    [Page 8]
rather than despise & resent you like most women would, I
find you _utterly pathetic_ most of the time, & other times
truly _laughable_.

you know ernst well enough to know he is a pure national
socialist & a believer in karma & destiny. you know he
believes in the ebb & flow of life - some passing out of
your sphere & others flowing in - in struggle & strength, in
eugenics & euthanasia, in race & honor & duty, heroic
behavior, personal sacrifice despite personal suffering,
unselfishness, and doing right despite the tactics of the
enemy. in applying his personal yardstick to you, ingrid, he
found you sadly

                                                    [Page 9]
lacking in numerous areas & has no regrets in choosing me
over you. in fact, many times he has expressed relief that
the fates made me mrs. zundel instead. why?

first, your vicious attack of anne whom, he loved for 30
long years. he interpreted your contempt for her as she was
someone he foolishly & with poor judgement [sic] chose to be
with. that affront to his character still stings him to this
day.  he feels perfectly capable as a judge of character &
emotionally he is no fool, schoolboy or buffoon. besides
that, he cared deeply for her. when you strike at her, you
strike at him. you repeated your same behavior where I was
concerned. he was under my spell, I was ruining his
business, I was a crazy goat, destructive beaver, and a
"creature" he needed to control.

                                                   [Page 10]
he picked the wrong woman. he was a fool to marry me. he
threw away you - the obvious correct choice! stupid, blind,
crotch-driven, influenced, mislead, pathetic ernst. when you
malign his decisions & choices & imply he has poor
judgement, & make him out to be an utter fool, he utterly &
eternally resents it. he is bitter towards _everyone_ who
has been unduly, unnecessarily, & unjustly mean to Anne or
myself. he finds you to be a person of poor character to
treat him like that & people he cares about. he is turned
off by your viciousness.

second, your emotional instability. ernst first thought you
to be utterly dependable, solid as a rock, reliable, a
stalwart, dig your heels in, tough, surviviing mennonite
peasant. he truly admired your accomplishments & your dogged
endurance in lifes struggles.

                                                   [Page 11]
when you showed yourself to be insanely jealous, vicious,
high-strung, weepy, threatening, nightmarish, catty,
gossipy, utterly un-cooperative in small courtesies like
phone etiquette, his opinion & admiration flew out the
window. he was & still is, so shocked by your behavior where
I am concerned that he is frankly glad you are not his wife.
you could _never_ stand the danger, rape threats, death
threats, political treachery, violence, demonstations &
assorted oddities that come with his life. you just aren't
thick skinned, analytical, rational & emotionally controlled
enough. he sees even now your mood swings as a threat to his
security. _He has told you that before_. Yet you stubbornly

                                                   [Page 12]
refuse to get a grip on yourself, move on with your own life
& give your best effort to the cause. you refuse to be
steady, reliable & hardworking even though _YOU KNOW_ you
are causing him harm. do you subconsciously want to bring
him down ingrid? for what?

ernst is a magnificent, heroic, larger than life, brave,
honorable, decent man who has fought like hell for you &
everyone else despite a cruel & enormous cost to his soul,
life, money, reputation, family, etc...

can't you dig in your peasant heels, do a great job for
history, wish ernst & I well, & seek your own happiness in
life & leave us to ours?

even today you had to take

                                                   [Page 13]
another catty shot at me, although you thought you could
cleverly disguise it in the text of a z-gram. how petty! how
childish! how emotional - again - for the umpteenth time!

that is another reason you aren't mrs. zundel, ingrid. you
are _EMOTION DRIVEN_ not _CAUSE DRIVEN_. ernst is definitely
_cause driven_, controlled in his emotions, ever laboring
under huge pain & stress for the race. _I_ am definitely
_cause driven_ & controlled in my emotions, putting ernst &
his victories first. that is why I had the sensitivity &
magnanamous, kind, spirit to stay away from court where I
rightfully belonged

                                                   [Page 14]
as his wife. I wanted you to do well in testifying, so ernst
can win & the cause goes on.

did you control your emotions? sublimate your pain in the
face of duty? did you give the _tiniest bit_ by promising
civil behavior on the phone, or professional respect? did
you even make a small social gesture by shaking my hand?

_no_. the cause be damned. ingrid raged & sobbed & tried to
get _my husband_ to dump the wife & kid at home & come back
to her bedroom. after you leave toronto there are more cold
phone calls between us and snarky faxes from you. again
ernst had to scold you as a 2 yr old.

                                                   [Page 15]
and round & round & round we go, dizzily & nauseatingly.

ingrid. get this clear. ernst survived before without the
zundelsite. he can replace you, promote his 22 mirror sites,
start a new website with someone else & have it famous &
heavily visited in short order. ernst succeeds brilliantly
at everything he does. he commands world media attention, he
is a name & peresonality with huge drawing power. he has a
great grasp of self-promotion. he has durability. he has his
own media. he can make _ANY_ "Zundelsite" a success &
quickly. you are _NOT_ IRREPLACEABLE. you _do not_ have
ernst by the short hairs where he endlessly has to put up
with your endless emotional abuse of both of us. you are
still em-

                                                   [Page 16]
ployed because:

1) ernst is a decent man. he doesn't want to unemploy you
because you are a past "flame" like he is jilting you
utterly. he realizes you have a retarded son to care for &
your own mouth to feed. he endures your crap for your own
self protection, to give you a meal ticket.

2) he appreciates & values your skills. your german grammar
is excellent. you type. you write. you work hard. you are
computer proficient. you know how to maintain a web page.

3) the site is already successful. why start a new one? if
it isn't broken, don't fix it.

4) he doesn't want the derision of the jews that they shut
you down.

                                                   [Page 17]
5) he knows his wife is mature enough & cause driven enough
to handle a professional relationship with you. he hopes
you'll grow up & be the same way so the cause goes on, your
income keeps rolling in, and we keep dealing blows to our
enemies via the world wide web.

I know 5 languages ingrid. I have a private school education
& some college. my wechsler tests & iq tests show me to be a
genius with a measurable iq of 156. I do valuable work for
the cause & I am well suited for my life as mrs. ernst
zundel -- despite your derision for my lack of
capitalization & my happy faces on faxes.

                                                   [Page 18]
I am secure enough in my person that I don't diet, dye my
hair, bemoan a few crows feet, surgically alter my
appearance, cap my teeth, wear make-up & try to look 20 yrs
younger than I am.

I am secure enough in my personality that I don't viciously
& vindictively attack you _unprovoked AS YOU DID ME_ when
you had to type my contribution to the newsletter about the

any e-mail or faxes that I since sent you, you brought on
yourself! when I had the opportunity in toronto _IN PERSON_
, to pay you back for your whorish & vicious behaviour, _I
stayed away_ to spare you emotionally.

                                                   [Page 19]
I even offered to be a lady, shake your hand, & bury the

your continued bad loser mentality & childish & mean
behavior only serves to keep you alienated from ernst & to
have his former respect & affection for you greatly reduced.
he is saddened by your lack of co-operation, & weary &
disgusted. one day he will reach his limit.

if you _TRULY_ miss having access to ernst, feeling part of
the team, crave contact, loathe the isolation you feel, &
are _really_ saddened by how things changed between you  &
ernst  & you can no longer talk,

                                                   [Page 20]
try this:

fax 4 simple words to my husband -

                     ernst, I am sorry.
then determine _in your soul_ you will send _ONLY_
professional faxes & have _ONLY_ professionally behavior on
the phone.

go out & make an enjoyable life for yourself, & let us have

ingrid, it is really that simple _if you allow it to be_.

in closing, I will say this. I know this fax is horrificly
painful for you. you have inflicted

                                                   [Page 21]
huge pain on me & my husband, _and you started it_ with the
ara newsletter.

with this fax, I want to end it _FOREVER_. I'll swallow what
I sent back in self defence. _All personal shit ends now_.
From here on out, the _3_ of us have a perfectly smooth,
professional relationship, because we all will it to be that
way & can act like adults for the cause.

don't try _anymore_ to force your hand or cause problems,
ingrid. you will come out on the losing end. I can assure
you my husband values his marriage & his happiness more than
your website. live in peace.

                           frau z

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