The Nizkor Project: Remembering the Holocaust (Shoah)

Shofar FTP Archive File: people/s/schoedel.ronald/web-pages/rsrsonal.htm

	A Personal Letter From Rev. Ron

The following letter was mailed to supporters of this ministry around the world, as an explanation of the events of May, which led Rev. Ron to temporarily resign from the ministry, and even to pull this website offline.  Please peruse it carefully, as we believe it contains important information and spiritual insights that can prove helpful to many others who may be facing trials and troubles.

Rev. Ronald C. Schoedel, III
Monclova, Ohio 43542-0012

8 June 1996

Dear friend,

Greetings brethren and sisters in the Faith, I trust that as summer begins (again, so soon!) that you are doing well and enjoying the many abundant blessings of our Father Yahweh. It has been a while since your editor has had the chance to sit down and type a long, personal letter to our friends, so I am really feeling blessed now to be able to share with you what¹s going on with the ministry now.

God has been revealing Himself to me in great and wondrous ways these last several weeks, that I just have to share with you what He is doing in my life, and through the ministry here. As you¹ll note from the return address, we are once again in Ohio. In January, as you may know, I packed up and headed for the great white north, where I settled down in southwest Alaska. It is the happenings during my Alaskan odyssey that I wish to focus on in this letter.

If you have never been to Alaska, by all means, let me encourage you to PLEASE take a trip there sometime. Never before in my life have I seen a land more beautiful and more varied in it¹s beauty, than the great state of Alaska. Contrary to what most think, it does not snow there year-round and it¹s not below zero every day, either. In fact, the climate of Alaska is as varied as the climate across the lower 48. I mean, we are talking about a state that stretches east to west the same distance from Maine to California, and north to south, the distance of North Dakota to Texas. The 21 smallest states of the union could fit inside Alaska¹s borders, with room to spare. Quite a diverse and exciting place to visit, and anyone with an appreciation for the unspoiled beauty of over three million lakes, mountains galore and flower-covered prairies stretching for boundless miles will appreciate a trip to Alaska.

Little did I know when I headed north what Yahweh would have in store for me, and just what this trip would mean in my life. My intention was to move to Alaska, far away from all the distractions and cares of the more urbanized world. For five months I did just that, and I loved every day of it. So you may well be wondering, why did I return? Allow me to explain, and please allow me the opportunity to share with you some rather personal observations, experiences and news.

May 14th, I announced to several of my closest ministry associates that I had to resign from the ministry indefinitely, and that effective immediately, all activities of this organization were to cease. I pulled our materials from the worldwide website we have on the internet, recalled this newsletter from the printing press and fell on my knees, pleading with God for direction in my life. I was met with a trial worse than any I could have imagined, and needed help in a time of some serious confusion. Well, as you can see, I am back in the ministry, the website is back online and THE TRUTH newsletter continues. What happened?

The worst time of my life -- and the most intense spiritual struggle I have encountered -- started the afternoon of May 13th. For about three weeks, I had been in Naknek, Alaska, where I had taken a new job and was about to begin getting ready a home for my fiancée and I, who was back in Dillingham, Alaska, where I had been since January. The big day had been set for the 26th of September, when Vanessa and I would be married, and begin our lives as ONE, with Christ at the center of our relationship. Vanessa is a wonderful, beautiful, Christian young lady who I had met right upon my arrival in Alaska, and on April the 10th, after we had sufficient time to determine that we shared the same ideals, goals and beliefs, I asked her to marry me. What a wonderfully delightful and memorable occasion it was when I asked her, and she happily and with tear-filled eyes said ³yes².

May 13th, at twelve noon, I checked my fax machine, which had just rung. To my horrific surprise, and utter amazement, I found out that Vanessa was NOT going to be my bride after all. From nowhere, with no warning, no signals or anything. As you might imagine, I was caught off guard totally. But of course, life goes on, so I prepared myself for work that day, and headed to the radio station. While at the station, another fax came across, this one with a bit of an explanation as to what in the world was going on. Still, not an explanation that made much sense to me.

I must say at this point, that I am not known as a rash individual. I am not one to make hasty decisions usually, and not one who does anything without seriously committing every step I take in life to prayer, asking Yahweh¹s will and direction. Vanessa had, in four months, never so much as disagreed with any of the ideals and beliefs that I hold dear to my heart, and which I preach to the world as one of the world¹s most effective Christian Identity outreaches. My convictions are my being, and I have always stood steadfast for the truth of God¹s word, which has meant in times past that I have avoided pursuing relationships with anyone who did not share my convictions and beliefs. In marriage, the two MUST be of one mind, in agreement on all things. Vanessa and I decided to marry with the understanding that we were just that.

I spoke with her after her second fax, and tried to understand why she felt she had to back out. She wasn¹t sure, she said, but she knew she had to. She honestly felt God was directing her in doing so. We hung up the phone, with the understanding that was to be our last contact, ever. Sad, confused, shocked and just generally bewildered, I fell on my knees and cried out to God, asking for His guidance, His comfort and His spirit to be with me. I was very confused. I felt God had told the two of us, that He wanted us to marry. I honestly believed that with every fibre of my being. So now I was left wondering, had I missed God¹s will in this? Had Vanessa? Was this God¹s way of trying to get me to correct something in my life?

For a week, I battled with these questions. It was intense battle, I might add. I searched my soul for any little thing I could find, to see if there was anything displeasing to God in me. I committed all my beliefs and convictions to God, asking Him to please show me if I was wrong in anything. And immediately, I decided I had to resign from the ministry. I could not go on preaching, especially while I wasn¹t sure for a while what in the world I believed. I thought ³God if I missed your will in this relationship, what else have I missed You in?² I announced my resignation to the world via the internet, and shut down our library on the internet on the 14th. More than a few people were surprised and confused, and they told me as much. I¹ll get into that a bit later though...

Having now tried to remove myself from the public eye as much as possible, I had to get into the Word, and in an in depth way. I prayed incessantly for days on end, and I heard God speak to my heart on each of those days, telling me He was with me. It meant a lot to know God was with me in this trial and time of confusion.

Here I was, totally helpless and unsure of just about everything in life. My engagement to a lovely, beautiful young lady had fallen apart, I wasn¹t sure of some of the things I had been teaching and preaching, and I was now definitely confused as to why in the world God brought me to Alaska in the first place. I was truly totally helpless. In a childlike way, I humbled myself and acknowledged that our loving Father has me in His caring hands, and would take care of me. But in that week¹s time of intense spiritual warfare, answers to my questions seemed so far in the distance, I thought they¹d never arrive.

Tuesday afternoon, the phone rang. I had been up all-night Monday -- into the late morning even -- with some work (a couple days without sleep is nothing unusual for me) so I was resting at the time the phone call came in, half asleep. Surprised and astonished, I heard Vanessa¹s voice when I picked up the receiver. It was then that God would give me the answers I had sought. The two days before this, I was regaining faith in my convictions and doctrines, which I have so fervently been teaching around the world through this outreach. But of course, as anyone who has struggled with something major in their life knows, it¹s at those times that we frail human beings are most apt to question our beliefs and search them, to see if they truly are of God. By the time I received Vanessa¹s call that Tuesday, I was certain I had not erred in anything I had been teaching. I had received a touch from God that assured me I was walking in His ways as I should be. Please don¹t take that to mean I think I am perfect...faaaaaaaaaar from it! But God had spoken to my heart, to just rest in Him, knowing that in His proper timing, He had an important revelation to give me, but in the meantime, I was to go on believing as I have been, and knowing that I was preaching the truth.

His proper timing turned out to be about 3 that Tuesday afternoon. In a brief conversation, Vanessa explained and provided for me the answers I had sought from God the past week. After our talk, I came away feeling very thankful to our Lord for His grace and mercy and lovingkindness, that He could care so much for one so weak, feeble and silly as I. Vanessa had confessed to me on the phone that day, that she had lied to me -- she really didn¹t accept many of God¹s truths that I proclaim so boldly through this ministry. Foundational doctrines that she had before said we agreed on, she said she had deceived me about. We were not of one mind after all, and the common goals and ideals I thought we shared, were nothing more than the fanciful vain imaginings of a young lady who had -- like me -- tried to take a relationship further than God wanted it to go. I had based my decision to pursue a deeper relationship with her on what I thought was an understanding that we did share some vital beliefs. We did not, however, which is what she called to explain that day.

My former fiancée Vanessa and I parted ways forever that day, with sadness, to be sure. (When is anyone happy over a lost love and a failed relationship, especially a broken engagement?) But beyond the sadness, we each had a peace in our hearts that this is what God TRULY demanded of us. After our last conversation, I knew in my heart that we could not go on as one, together, with such vast differences in our doctrine and beliefs. I immediately went to God in prayer, joyous and so very thankful that He had answered my pleas for help! I was so thankful God had saved me from my own lack of discernment, by bringing a stop to something that (once the truth was revealed by Vanessa) I now knew could not go on. I wept like a baby as I thanked God for His mercy and guidance, and His love. That Vanessa was able to humble herself and say what she eventually said, I am glad for as well. I was not angry with her or upset at all, love bears ALL THINGS. Even if I did come away from this relationship feeling hurt and deceived, I won't ever hold that against Vanessa, until I become perfect and never-failing. I also prayed He would touch the heart of my former fiancée, and guide her into all truth. I ask that you do the same, please.

I hold no malice or ill-will in my heart for the young lady. Only a godly love and a desire for her to experience the blessings of God as I have, and the Truth of God as I have. She is bound up in some ungodly beliefs, I found out, that I pray God will deliver her from. Religion is not the way to God, Christ is. Too many people trust in their religion (even though they may well be saved and know Jesus) and this causes serious problems. Vanessa is one of those who has been caught up into a seriously detrimental form of strict denominationalism, that can do nothing but harm one spiritually. How fervently I pray for the loosing of those chains, so she might experience God¹s love, and life more abundantly!

At the same time, I find myself having learned a very humbling lesson about trusting Yahweh and not just accepting man¹s word without seeking Yahweh as best we can. In this issue, I had gone on my own, thinking I knew what God wanted. How grievously I erred. But how wonderfully kind God was in showing each of us that He had other plans for the two of us. I thank God so very much for the entire experience, even if for a while I felt like I¹d never make it through it. But He was with me through the trials and troubles, and led me out! Halleluyah!

Immediately after I had initially prayed thanking God for His revelation through that last phone call, God convicted me and spoke to me again. ³You still have been called to do My work. That hasn¹t changed.² I knew that through our outreach, tens of thousands of people worldwide were being blessed and touched and instructed in the ways of righteousness. But when God spoke this to me, the mail I had received in that week of trial -- from curious individuals wondering why I had resigned -- all hit me like nothing before. I have been called of God, and the testimony after testimony that people had shared that week blessed me so much as I read them...I had definitely erred in quitting the ministry. ³You can try to quit, but that doesn¹t change that I have called you. And I¹m going to continue to use you mightily, Ron Schoedel², God spoke to me.

Allow me to share with you one of those letters I received during my week of trial. When I read this, I knew I HAD to carry on. I knew I had no choice but to continue in God¹s end-time work. I think this letter will bless you, too, as it did me:

I don't know what your circumstances are or even the reason for your resignation, but before you do, let me tell you what your ministry and has done for my family and I. I have used your scripture studies for the past six months and due in great part to your ministry I have gone from a thuggish ex-convict who behaved in a very drunken and un-Christian-like manner into a man no longer living each day to sin, but a man whose greatest joy is reading the Bible! Who would have thought that even just three years ago that I would be obedient to God¹s call, much less rebuke my former friends for denying Christ and even hold church services in my own home? Your scripture studies have also been instrumental in bringing my brother to God, a service for which I will always be in your debt! They also converted a young man of 18, named Steven _____, the grandson of a south Georgia Baptist preacher. Steven began preaching the gospel -- learned through you -- to his friends and relatives; now a brother, an uncle, and HIS GRANDFATHER (who claimed that Israel was merely a spiritual nation) have come to the realization of WHO GOD'S PEOPLE ARE!!! All because of your hard work. Since Steven was converted, my home is growing full with people who come to hear him speak on the Bible.

If you're still thinking of resigning for good, I'm truly sorry to hear it. But before you do, I just wanted you to know what a blessing you have been to all. We keep you in our prayers and ask our Lord Yahweh to bless and keep you, to protect and enlighten you as to His way for you, and to continue in His service.

Friends, that¹s just one of many similar letters that came in after I announced my resignation. I felt anything but proud or arrogant as the mail poured in from around the world, begging me not to give up, but instead, to be strong and carry on the fight! It was one of the absolute most humbling things a man can experience, I think. Going through the mail as more and more comes in, my strength is only increased as I resolve to continue in the Lord¹s work, as He has told me I must. My rationale for resigning was that I was too confused to carry out God¹s work, and that God couldn¹t possibly use a lowly lousy sinner such as myself to do His work. I thought, ³I can¹t even discern God¹s will for my own life, how can I instruct others?² The beautiful testimonies from thousands the world over -- of how they heard the life-changing Gospel message from this lowly preacher -- have shown me that somehow, Yahweh has seen fit to use me, though I¹ll go on forever wondering why. Certainly not because I¹m anything special.

Since I am once again single and thus more easily able to move about freely, I have decided to return to Ohio, where I will better be able to carry on the ministry, and be a much better steward of God¹s provision (the cost of operating the ministry in Alaska was very high, about one and half times the cost of running from down here). I plan to stick around in Ohio now, and have a new OH address, which is RONALD SCHOEDEL, MONCLOVA, OH 43542-0012. The Alaska mailing addresses, are of course, out of date. However, our internet website, Christian Identity Online remains at http://www., and that will stay that way most permanently, I am certain. Our e-mail remains, primarily for convenience¹s sake.

And so the fight for righteousness continues, with Ronald C. Schoedel once again leading the way for this particular work of Yahweh. I humbly and sincerely apologize to all for my hastiness in resigning. I have learned that things are not always as they seem, that God is bigger than our outward cirumstances. Those trials that appear to us as too big are nothing for God. And when God makes us a promise, He keeps it. When God calls us for His work, He uses us. And sometimes it means He has to correct us lovingly, as He did with me, in telling me to pick up where I left off before I fell into the valley. I believe Yahweh has forgiven me for stepping outside His will briefly, I ask the same forgiveness of you. I never once in my time of trial doubted God¹s sovereignty, majesty, love or care, and He has only shown me better exactly how much He does care for us. Praise Jesus!

I ask for your continued prayers, as well. Armed with these new lessons in humility, discernment and trusting in God, I am determined to carry on His work in these last days, carrying the Gospel message forth as strong as I ever have. Please pray for my continued strength to perform the many exacting duties this work has always required of me, and will continue to require of me. Ask that God would watch over me and guide me, and show me His ways. I only wish to be led of the Lord. I also go on in this work alone however, still desiring earnestly that God may one day allow me the fulfillment of my number two goal: my first is quite simple to serve God; the other desire of my heart: to one day be a godly father and husband. Beyond that, nothing else matters. I believe that is the way God would have it, and ask that you also pray for His will in my life in that regard as well. To me there is nothing more important than the hope ofone day having a family of my own. This work is good, I believe, but to be truthful it will not save our People. It will educate some, and bring others to truth, but it is only a very small part of the overall picture. This work is important I believe, and I am committed to it, and shall remain so. But one more lesson I have learned of late is the importance of finding the right mate to go through life with, and that only strengthens my desire to find the one who has been set aside by God to go through this life with me.

You all mean a lot to me, and your continued, prayerful support is invaluable. It¹s what keeps me going, as is your kind and generous financial support, as you are led of God. We have lots of new projects on the horizon. THE TRUTH newsletter will continue for the time being (even though we HAD plans to phase it out, we will continue for a while more), the Christian Identity Online website has been restored, even better than before, and we are about to reprint a number of articles as tracts, to even further spread the message of God¹s Kingdom. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, for your attention as I have shared with you my exciting and truly rewarding experiences, and for your prayers and support. I love you all in Christ, and will be praying for you as well. I remain, yours truly,

For God and Nation,

Ronald C. Schoedel, III

Return to CIO Homepage

Home ·  Site Map ·  What's New? ·  Search Nizkor

© The Nizkor Project, 1991-2012

This site is intended for educational purposes to teach about the Holocaust and to combat hatred. Any statements or excerpts found on this site are for educational purposes only.

As part of these educational purposes, Nizkor may include on this website materials, such as excerpts from the writings of racists and antisemites. Far from approving these writings, Nizkor condemns them and provides them so that its readers can learn the nature and extent of hate and antisemitic discourse. Nizkor urges the readers of these pages to condemn racist and hate speech in all of its forms and manifestations.